Today was supposed to be WRO Weekly Meeting Day. sheesh. Last minute cancelled cos alot of people not coming. :C

Oh well, whatever. Imma make a confession now.

OKAYIMDONEWITHMYCONFESSION. (:

love,

hannahbanana.

Hello ALL! Went out with SUGARPIEHUNEHS today and had a meal together. Talked and shared like we used to in the past. Updated each other on our daily lives. I'm feeling good cos we managed to finally catch up with one another after soooooo long.

MISSED YOU SAYANGS.

ONE BIG-ASS PICTURE OF ME. i think i lost my touch in cam-whoring. hahahah. haven't camwhored in quite a LONG while.

OKAYOKAY. Pictures taken today! WEEEE~!

WOOHOO~! ME IN SUPA HIGH MOOD BABEH~!

Had chinese class just now. Have i said how much i liked CHINESE CLASS? hahahahaha. with the right people of course. anyway, pictures during breaktime.

lawar laa tu muker hannah. ME SHOWING OFF ME GARLIC BREAD.

hahahahaha.

me and injured amirah. She managed to donate but i couldn't. CNN.

PEOPLE. meet raj kumar a.k.a SHUI JIAO.

You know, i think life kinda sucks now. I can't seem to express my innermost feelings and thoughts. But when I do try to express my feelings, my innerself jolts me back to reality and refrain me from saying a word. It's like as though I feel that nobody would understand what I'm feeling. Like absolutely nobody.

On monday, during lunchbreak, i really did feel like crying. I swear i felt my tears in my eyes. But, i thought to myself,why would I wanna shed tears for a guy who wasn't anyone to me? What you msg-ed me was really mean. It was never my intention to lead somebody or any guy on. I did state clearly that I didn't wanna get into any relationship when you asked what i thought of relationship. You asked me why. I honestly did wanna tell you why but i just couldn't bring myself to confide in you. Fine, then I'll tell you why.

I got my heart broken by a guy whom i really loved a lot.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.

and I don't wish to elaborate much on it, cos I think I'll just end up crying. Oh wait, I'm already crying. It really sucks cos I know I still do think about him at times and cry at night - secretly. I don't really like thinking about all these stuffs but sometimes, it gets so tiring that you just need to let it out by crying.

Syiqin once asked me how i managed to hide my sadness of breakups and heartbreaks. The truth is, I can't. I'm human too. I get sad sometimes. I cry sometimes. I get tired of faking smiles. I get tired of putting a strong front. I'm sick and tired of being happy when I'm actually not.

Well, tonight is actually the 11th month since we last broke up. Yes. I know. I'm pathetic. i actually remember all these useless details. I hate myself for that too. I can't help it that I still ocassionally think about him. How could I forget him? He was after all someone whom I really did fall head over heels with. Someone whom I thought I could actually see myself with for quite a long time.

I hope he's happy at where he is. But honestly, I think I'll start crying when I do bump into him one day.

I think life itself is tiring. I admit. i'm scared to fall in love again after him. I'm scared to commit. I'm scared that I'll get hurt again. I'm scared of being left again. I'm scared that...... I might collapse again after all the hard work i did to pick myself up again. I'm definitely not going back to what I was back then. No. I've had enough. I've had enough of smoking. I've had enough of wasting my life away.

I guess that's why I love working. Work actually clears my mind from thinking all such nonsense. When i do get back from work, I'm too tired to even think of anything and sleep. And now, I'm gonna pick myself up again like i did once and get a hang of myself.

love,

hannahbanana.

handsome china guy told me that i was pretty.

hannahbanana said of course.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

thick skin ttm.

was working the past two days.

i kinda like the fact that im working and studying at the same time.

that im not rotting at home and doing nothing.

at the very least im contributing back to the society by providing my service to the guests.

EHKEHKEHK

not THAT kinda service hor.

HEEHEEHEE.

so, nothing much happened except for the fact that *hewhoshallnotbenamed* promised not to kacau me anymore. HEEHEEHEE. like finally he realise that he's disturbing me. SYIQIN! you shall be my witness! If he kacau me again arh..... *kening naek upup*

the guests sitting at my table were AWESOME! they waited while i portion the food, said thank you everytime i cleared the plates and gave their portions. They even complimented me for good service!

*SECRETLY HOPING SHE WILL WRITE A LETTER OF COMPLIMENT SO THAT I CAN BOAST OFF SOMETHING FOR MY REPORT* hahahahahha.

speaking of report.

i am so freaking damn tired but i can't seem to sleep. why oh why. daddy asked me whether me wanna follow him to mustafa centre. i gave daddy the o.0 look. hahahaha. okay. i shall do my tutorials now. (:

love,

hannahbanana

Can i say that i am so freaking damn positive nowadays??? * SMILE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!*

andandandand

i can't believe im actually talking to him on msn right now.

YEAH HIM!

wowowowowowowoow.

*HYPERVENTILATING LIKE NO TOMORROW!*

MUAUAHAHAHHAHA.

okay hannah. stop it ehk. You overreacting.

hahahahahahha. happy nyer aaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkuuuuuu.